2010 Movie Roundup: what we loved, what we hated, and what we can't wait to see

So, at the start of the year, 2010 looked like it was going to be a pretty good year for cinema, especially if you're a nerd. Sure, we aren't getting another Star Trek until 2012, but we had some great stuff to hold us over in the meantime. We had intentions of doing in-depth reviews of all of these films when we saw them, but quite frankly, Tyler and Phil just didn't have enough to say about most of them, and you probably don't want to read the six and seven paragraph tirades that my overpriced film education would have wrought upon you had I been left to write alone. So, here we go.

WHAT WE'VE WATCHED THUS FAR

IRON MAN 2
YGW RATING: 10/10

HOLY SHIT. HOLY SHIT. THIS FUCKING MOVIE. This is one that even when we'd agreed to do a single roundup blog about the movies, we were still going to give it's own entry, but all we had written was HOLY SHIT AWESOME over and over again. We went in trying not to expect too much, even though the first one is arguably the best comic-to-film adaptation since the first Spider Man (and we all know what a disappointment THAT franchise turned int0). But I think we all know that, unless a stoned monkey wrote the script, it was going to be entertaining at the very least. And I would watch Robert Downey Jr. watch paint dry. So, at the very least, I would walk out happy.
Well, RDJ was just as phenomenal as he was in the first movie, and the dynamic with Gwyneth Paltrow as Pepper Pots was just as snappy and thick with sexual tension as it was in the first film. Add in a somewhat bland but tolerable turn by Scarlett Johansson (is anyone surprised? Really?) as the seductive SHIELD agent Black Widow and a great job from Don Cheadle (which, I mean, is anyone surprised by this?) as Lt. Rhodes a.k.a. WAR MACHINE (OH MY GOD YES). Also, Mickey Rourke being.... well, Mickey Rourke. Sure, he was ridiculously camp, but that's just WHAT HE DOES. For him, this was surprisingly subtle (though not by any other standard).

OVERALL: sure, I could go on for a few more paragraphs about the ill-fitting costumes (what was up with Scarlett Johansson's boobs being completely squashed into unnatural positions in half her outfits? Nothing hot about pancake tits!) or the lack of continuity with whatever the hell was wrong with Mickey Rourke's fingernails (half-inch thick gray acrylics in one scene, perfectly normal, clean nails in the next. Good job, makeup department!) or even about the complete disregard for physics in some of the effects, but honestly? It's a COMIC BOOK ADAPTATION. And it's a sequel. And I didn't want to gouge my eyes out. On the contrary, I enjoyed it so much that some of the glaring mistakes didn't even strike me until the second or third viewing. This is a new milestone for cinema as we know it.

CLASH OF THE TITANS
YGW RATING: 7/10

A word of background on this one: Tyler and I are huge fans of the original film. His dad made him watch it a hundred times as a kid, and the only movie my grandma and I might have watched more times than this classic was possibly Wrath of Khan. So it comes as no surprise that we were immeasurably excited to see it remade with better effects and LIAM FUCKING NEESON and RALPH FIENNES together for the first time since Schindler's List.
However, we also were very much aware that there was really no need for a remake, and the currently overwhelming theme of 'rebooting' older films with fresh casts, better effects, and infinitely worse scripts quelled our excitement into more of a cautious optimism.
And it's a good thing we didn't get our hopes up, because the whole film was pretty...underwhelming. Nothing new was really brought to the table, except for the whole mess with Io, which was kind of convoluted (in the original myth, Io gets turned into a cow, not given eternal youth. The change in the myth makes no sense and is obviously done only to serve the plot) and the original got by fine without her, so why bother? At least the performance from Gemma Arterton is infinitely better than in the other film we recently saw her in: Prince of Persia. If nothing else good came of this, at least we now have the line "UNLEASH THE KRAKEN!," which we have added to our repertoire of unnecessarily enthusiastic exclamations to yell at eachother in completely inappropriate situation, along with Eric Bana's "FIRE EVERYTHING!" from last summer's Star Trek reboot. Yes, we are children.
OVERALL: not bad, but not exactly groundbreaking. The new effects were certainly a nice update in some places, but going all J.J. Abrams on everything the gods ever touched was sort of annoying, and may have given us retinal damage.

SHUTTER ISLAND
YGW RATING: 9/10

Okay, so I really don't care about Martin Scorsese anymore. Which isn't to say that I don't appreciate his impact on film, but I just don't care for most of his stuff. Perhaps it's a generational thing, or just personal taste. I don't know. The Departed was the first one of his films that I genuinely enjoyed since Cape Fear. But to each his own, I suppose. Either way, I wasn't expecting much from this one, even though my mother has been hounding me to read the book for a few years now because she knew I would love it.
Well, mom was right. At least, I loved the movie, so I can only imagine that the book is even better. But we're here to talk about the film.
I wouldn't really describe most of the film as being subtle, but the subtleties in it are what really make it. Slight, inexplicable changes in color palette and tight editing tweaks really give a sense of discomfort and disorientation, and that's where the movie thrives. At several points in the film, Tyler and I had to ask eachother if there was something wrong with the film, or if our eyes were playing tricks on us, only to realize later that it had been deliberate on the part of the filmmakers. If that isn't incredibly effective filmmaking, I don't know what is.
The acting in this was pretty top notch as well, but not unexpected. Leonardo DiCaprio seems to have really come into his own in the last few years, and is completely convincing and watchable even in the most unwatchable movies (that means you, Revolutionary Road). Ben Kingsley is also, as always, amazing. And keep an eye out for a cameo from Jackie Earle Haley.
We don't want to say much about the film because we don't want to give anything away, and the story, though a bit predictable in places, does keep you on your toes to the very end.

OVERALL: Worth seeing for the atmosphere alone, but probably just one time, as most of what makes it great really won't have the same impact on a second viewing.

KICK-ASS

YGW RATING:9/10

So, for some unfortunate reason, I am the only one here who has seen Kick-Ass. How this happened, I will never know.

For that reason, I'm going to refrain from doing an extensive review until everyone else has seen it. I will, however, admit to absolutely loving it. I haven't read the graphic novel, though, so perhaps I'll try to get that done by the time the boys see the film so we can have a proper critique.

PRINCE OF PERSIA
YGW RATING: 8/10

Tyler, Phil and I all went to see this one together opening weekend because we were just so goddamn excited (by which I mean that I was excited and they were vaguely interested, so I dragged them along). All three of us were huge fans of the game it was supposedly based off of, and the boys both really enjoyed the rest of the trilogy, though I lost interest about two hours into the second game and never finished it.
For those who haven't seen it, the movie is relatively faithful to the original for the first twenty or so minutes, until the shit hits the fan. The Prince is still the adopted son of the King who is invading Azad (changed to Alamut in the film), even if he has other biological sons in this version who play pretty big roles (in fact, the eldest brother's role feels more like the King from the game than the King from the film does). The antagonist role, played brilliantly in the film by Ben Kingsley, has changed from the turncoat Vizier of Azad to the king's jealous brother. The role, however, remains very similar in spirit. However, once the characters are established, everything goes completely off course.
My biggest qualm with the film is that the sands are never really released. No sand monsters, just weird middle eastern faux-ninjas and lots of running away. The action is still entirely enjoyable when you can find it, but the majority of the film is talking, running away, and wide shots of the scenery, making it feel more like Lord of the Rings in Persia than like the game. The dialogue isn't bad and the pacing stays pretty solid, but the whole story is kind of convoluted and confusing if you go into it having played the game and expecting, at the very least, to see the same idea. Also, without giving away too much, the ending makes a genuine attempt to remain faithful to the game, which, given the changes made to most of the story, makes it feel a little silly and, well, completely jump the shark.
As far as the acting, Jake Gyllenhal impressed us. We really weren't expecting much from him at all, and we were pleasantly surprised to see him pull it off. (And if you had qualms with his or anyone else's pseudo-British accents, we kindly ask you to play the game again. It's one of the few things they kept authentic and consistent throughout the movie, so I'm not hardly going to take points off for it) Ben Kingsley was excellent as always, and most of the supporting cast of character actors did their parts well.
The only thing we disagreed about on this one was Gemma Arterton. We agreed that the dialogue for Farah (renamed Tamina for the film) was very faithful to the spirit of the game, and that Arterton's delivery was disappointing, sounding like she was reading and downright bored for most of the movie, except which she was screaming unconvincingly. Where we disagree is that I don't think she looked the part at all, and Tyler didn't take as much issue with it. When she is initially introduced, it is said outright by the the titular prince's brother that she is supposed to be the most beautiful woman in all the land. Now, she's a pretty girl, but not when she's been makeup-coated into the unnatural abomination she was transformed into for this role. The girl is naturally either ginger or a very light brunette, and has a freckled, pale complexion that belongs on a Irish Spring commercial. She also has a very unique face shape which, though usually pretty, looks awkward and mannish with the haircut she was given for the film (which makes no sense to me, as not only is it unflattering, but it isn't the character's normal hair anyway). If she had knocked it out of the park with her acting I probably wouldn't have noticed or cared, but when someone is cast as a lead in a high budget film and can't act, it makes me wonder why they were cast in the role at all.

OVERALL: a fun, family friendly action movie. If you need an excuse to retreat into an air conditioned theater for a few hours to escape the heat, not the worst decision you could make.

LOOKING AHEAD: WHAT WE'RE EXCITED ABOUT

SCOTT PILGRIM VS. THE WORLD

I think it might be physically impossible for this movie to be more perfect for us. It's based on a graphic novel series of the same name and just as chock-full of video game references. I mean, Shigeru Miyamoto got to see a rough cut screening of the film and liked it enough to give the filmmakers his blessing to use music from Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. Come ON. This movie looks so good that I'm starting to get suspicious.

THE LAST AIRBENDER

You know what? you might as well just take a peek at our blog from a while back about just how excited we are to see this movie. Nothing has changed, aside from a new trailer. We're still disgustingly excited.

THE SORCERER'S APPRENTICE

Oh, hi there, Jerry Bruckheimer. What was that? You're going to ride the coattails of the sucess of the Harry Potter franchise by making a knockoff starring Nicholas Cage?

As much as I HATED the very idea of this one from the very beginning, it's growing on me. Mostly because it looks fun. And while the Potter films are becoming increasingly dark and are still interesting, they aren't really the most fun you can have with the genre. And over the years, my hatred for Nicholas Cage has reached the singularity and is starting to turn into some sort of twisted love.

INCEPTION

Hey, remember how we talked about how much we're starting to love Leonardo DiCaprio? Well, this looks phenomenal. And I mean, look at the rest of the cast: Michael Caine, Ken Watanabe, Cillian Murphy, Ellen Page, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and Lukas Haas. And of course, it's written and directed by CHRISTOPHER FUCKING NOLAN. This sounds like the perfect storm of psychological thrillers.

The Best Books of 2009 That You Didn't Know About

I'm the first to admit that I'm not always up to speed with everything (I blame Facebook and their terrible, time-wasting applications that eat away at my life), but I've been doing a considerable amount of reading lately, and some of these books, though not very new, absolutely deserve some attention.

In no particular order:

"Monster" by A. Lee Martinez

I was sort of wandering aimlessly through Borders a few months back when a particularly garish book spine caught my eye. It was the kind of yellow that you generally only see on traffic signs, and to say it stuck out would be something of an understatement. Naturally, I had to pick it up and read the back (even if it did hurt my eyes a little).

Now the excerpt on the back of the book, as it turns out, is the first page. (You can read it on Amazon via their 'Look Inside!' feature.) I'll give you the synopsis from the inside jacket cover:

Meet Monster. Meet Judy. Two humans who don't like each other much, but together must fight dragons, fire-breathing felines, trolls, Inuit walrus dogs, and a crazy cat lady - for the future of the universe. Monster runs a pest control agency. He's overworked and has domestic troubles - like having the girlfriend from hell. Judy works the night shift at the local Food Plus Mart. Not the most glamorous life, but Judy is happy. No one bothers her and if she has to spell things out for the night-manager every now and again, so be it. But when Judy finds a Yeti in the freezer aisle eating all the Rocky Road, her life collides with Monster's in a rather alarming fashion. Because Monster doesn't catch raccoons; he catches the things that go bump in the night. Things like ogres, trolls, and dragons. Oh, and his girlfriend from Hell? She actually is from Hell.

No, really. The absurd humor absolutely abounds here, making the misadventures of Monster and Judy into something of the urban fantasy equivalent of "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy," and Monster's partner, Chester - a gnome from a different dimension that possesses a large sheet of paper - is the perfect foil. The book is worth reading for their dialogue alone.

The book seems a little slow for the first half, so if you're looking for something full of bullets-flying, chaotic action, this probably isn't for you. But if you're a fan of Terry Pratchett or Douglas Adams, absolutely pick this up. It just became available in paperback January 29th, so no excuses. Go get it.

"Soulless" by Gail Carriger

I was actually amazed to find out that this was Carriger's first published work. Honestly, I'd have thought that someone this witty and brilliant would have gone to press so much sooner! And it seems an odd choice to start with a series, but I'm certainly not complaining.

"Soulless" is the first in the Parasol Protectorate series, which is an interesting victorian horror/mystery series with a splash of steampunk. I'm hesitant to even use the term 'steampunk' at all, as any and all technology that would move this novel from historical fiction to alternate history is often fleeting and blends in so well that it's nearly unnoticeable. No one runs around with goggles on their hats or stupid brass contraptions that shoot lasers. This simply isn't that kind of book. In fact, you can read the author's own thoughts on her particular brand of steampunk right here.

There are, however, werewolves. And vampires. The majority of whom are upstanding citizens, and properly behaved aristocrats. After all, this is London. Manners are manditory.

The Publisher's Weekly blurb from Amazon :

Prickly, stubborn 25-year-old bluestocking Alexia Tarabotti is patently unmarriageable, and not just because she's large-nosed and swarthy. She's also soulless, an oddity and a secret even in a 19th-century London that mostly accepts and integrates werewolf packs, vampire hives and ghosts. The only man who notices her is brash Lord Conall Maccon, a Scottish Alpha werewolf and government official, and (of course) they dislike each other intensely. After Alexia kills a vampire with her parasol at a party—how vulgar!—she and Conall must work together to solve a supernatural mystery that grows quite steampunkishly gruesome. Well-drawn secondary characters round out the story, most notably Lord Akeldama, Alexia's outrageous, italic-wielding gay best vampire friend. This intoxicatingly witty parody will appeal to a wide cross-section of romance, fantasy and steampunk fans.

The romantic overtones of the novel do narrow the potential fanbase considerably. To be 100% honest, I'd categorize this as being pretty girly, and wouldn't recommend it to any of my guy friends, unlike all the other books listed here. But with that said, I'm not really prone to traditionally 'girly' stuff, and this is the closest thing to a romance novel I've ever read in my life, so if it sounds interesting to you, don't let me discourage you.

It's also worth noting that Carriger has a pretty entertaining blog, and keeps track of her progress on other projects, so if you find yourself taken with her first book, you can see how long you have to suffer without another one. She also has a whole section of her site where you can view bonus materials from the books, like concept sketches and chapters that didn't make the cut.

"The Sheriff of Yrnameer" by Michael Rubens

I was wandering through a local Borders that was closing it's doors (it used to be a Waldenbooks and was recently bought out, and having a tiny in-mall location across the street from a massive, two-floor Borders does seem a bit silly), and there wasn't much left in the sci-fi/fantasy section. There were a couple Laurell K. Hamilton books that I'd already read, a William Shatner Star Trek book (which I grabbed and read, it was better than I expected), and "The Sheriff of Yrnameer." The cover art was strikingly bizzare, but last time I picked up a book because of the cover, I found a real gem, so I figured, why not? If the endorsing blurb on the back from Stephen Colbert hadn't already sealed the deal, a similarly praising note from Seth Grahme-Smith (the author of "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies") on the Amazon page for it certainly couldn't hurt. The praise wasn't unjustified. Publisher's Weekly had this to say:

A down-and-out space faring rogue finds himself the protector of a bunch of peacenik artisans in this lighthearted, adventure-filled debut from The Daily Show with Jon Stewart writer Rubens. Space adventurer Cole is a liar and a thief and a cheat, and he owes a lot of money to Kenneth, an alien who wants to incubate eggs in the deadbeat's brain. Cole's escape from Kenneth lands him in the middle of a scheme to deliver a batch of freeze-dried orphans to the backwater planet of Yrnameer, which turns out to be under attack from Cole's archenemy, the outlaw Runk. Cole's ludicrous exploits keep the laughs coming as Rubens grandly ignores the niceties of world building and coherent plotting in favor of clever pop culture references and a rocket-fast, knee-slapping narrative.

I find it uncanny that every piece of criticism I've seen for this book compared Rubens to Douglas Adams and Terry Pratchett when the only author who might get compared to them even more, Martinez, couldn't be more different in terms of literary style. The descriptions in "Yrnameer" are kept to a minimum, but the imagery is still consistently strong through off-hand bits of dialogue and pop culture references. Rubens' background as a television writer absolutely shines in his pacing and humor, and his familiarity with the genre gives him the elbow room to poke fun without losing the story and falling into blatant parody. Dialogue is absolutely where Rubens is at his best, and there is never a shortage of interesting characters for our anti-hero to banter with. If Han Solo was your favorite Star Wars character, read this. It will make you smile. I promise.

"The Automatic Detective" by A. Lee Martinez

(Technically, "The Automatic Detective" came out in 2008, but it didn't make it to mass market paperback until 2009, so I'm including it. Deal.)

So, having thoroughly enjoyed "Monster," I decided to give Martinez another shot. I had just gotten a Kindle, so I read the first chapter of a couple of his books for free (easily my favorite feature of the Kindle, since you don't have to sit at a computer or stand around in a bookstore to shop for books and read excerpts). This was the one that grabbed my attention first. You can read more here, but be warned, the synopsis provided by Publisher's Weekly contains spoilers!

Martinez paints an intriguing alternate history background in Empire City, the would-be utopia in which the crime noir is set. The residents are an intriguingly motley crew, from a talking gorilla with a penchant from classic literature to celebrity technophiles and furry mutant police officers. The protagonist, Mac Megaton, is a sentient robot who was built to destroy and conquer, but decided he actually liked people, choosing instead to become a taxi driver. Mac lives a quiet life, and he's close to getting his citizenship when his friendly neighbor and her two children are abducted. Dissatisfied with the local authorities' unenthusiastic search, Mac decides to try and rescue them himself, risking his citizenship and even his functionality.

Much more linear and action-driven than "Monster" but still full of the same brilliant humor, "The Automatic Detective" was a fast read that I absolutely couldn't put down. I can't really think of anyone who wouldn't like this, unless they don't like robots. Or fun.